U.S. Medical Care Is Going to the Dogs

I will not go into my assorted conditions here. I don’t want to hear about yours, and I don’t want to talk about mine. I’m feeling fine enough and not in any imminent danger — as far as I know.

My old doctor I could usually get on the phone after leaving a message with his assistant, who always answered the phone. Two person office, no farkakte automated telephone thing, no website, no email. Simple. He didn’t bother me and I didn’t bother him. Now he’s retired.

My next doctor would not pick up the phone. Neither will her nurse. It was usually a struggle just to get them to renew a prescription (I have eight). So I switched. Turns out most doctors won’t take a patient with Medicare Part B, in which you enroll as soon as you are eligible to avoid the higher premiums. It wasn’t easy finding a replacement. My new doctor informed me I could have a health problem about which I had no idea, based on test results my previous doctor had access to. Whether she bothered to ever look at them I couldn’t say.

Then there’s my gastro specialist. I was getting ready for a colonoscopy, my fourth or fifth. Previous ones went off without a hitch. Despite the benefit of the grooviest Internet technology, part of our premier hospital complex in wealthy Fairfax VA, his office is completely disorganized, issuing incorrect prescriptions and inconsistent instructions.

At the last minute, they are told me my procedure might need to be postponed, for stuff they should have known about weeks ago. Meanwhile I really want a cheeseburger. Turned out I was cleared for the procedure, had it done this morning, and all is well. I wrote the first draft of this in a snit, now I’m pretty happy with how it all turned out. Bought some of my favorite take-out to celebrate. Best of all, given the test results and my age (75), it turns out I never have to do it again.

I’m in a local, apolitical Facebook group and asked for recommendations, as others frequently do, for vendors. In my case doctors who take Medicare B. Sad to say, many suggested a local walk-in clinic. We used it once and it was fine, but it’s not what I think you want for a family doctor.

There is also the private equity angle. These outfits buy up practices, then set about economizing. Ugh. They set up rules for what doctors can and can’t do, starting with replacing receptionists with automated phone thingies that can’t understand simple English, or call center operators in God-knows-where, India, who can’t speak U.S. English.

I actually spoke to a doctor about the communication issue. You can spend a few thousand extra a year for so-called “concierge service,” which means — I think — a doctor will talk to you. Otherwise their objective is volume. Bang that cash register.

I had to switch dentists because my old one, who was very good, sold his practice. I went to see him again and he was in this big room in a line of a dozen dentists with separate treatment booths and chairs. I was assigned to a new dentist, nice young lady. I never went back. I lucked out on my new one, after one clinker who screwed up a procedure for my wife.

I’ll be leaving some spicy reviews up about these doctors. I’ve tried to be diligent about managing my health, but that requires diligence on the other end too. I’m ready to just give up, let the devil take the hindmost. When it’s time to go, you shut up and go. Scatter my ashes in the INOVA Fairfax parking lot. Don’t mourn; organize.